Mental health diary

Childhood trauma

A couple of nights ago I watched this talk, and it really hit home with me.

I grew up around abuse and neglect, with a parent who struggled with mental illness and with both parents who were alcoholics. My childhood and adolescence years were riddled with severe trauma and it certainly changed who I am. Because of all of this I then went on to be diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses myself – one of them (as mentioned previously) being Borderline Personality disorder. Luckily, my life now is a million miles away from what it was like growing up, and for that I am so, so grateful. 

I would have an ACE score of above 4 (see video) and the health statistics that come alongside this are scarily high. While depression is perhaps a more obvious illness to develop after childhood trauma, I was extremely surprised at the physical illness figures – and just how deeply that things like this can affect the brain. I already knew that my developing brain had been affected due to my BPD, but the depth at which it can affect the brain was something that I didn’t know.  I felt all sorts of emotions after watching  this talk; hurt, anger, frustration and disappointment. I was hurt, angry, frustrated and disappointed that I had been put through all of this by people that are supposed to protect me and love me.

I’m no longer massively affected by what happened. It’s a part of my past, and the pathway to where I am now. But it is deeply disappointing that other peoples poor actions can have such a devastating effect on someone else, devastating effects that can last a lifetime.

 

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